I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
