my phone needs a breathalizer
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
