Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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