So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
