Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
