So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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