I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
whose ass print is on the piano?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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