We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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