i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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