Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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