i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
