U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i was born a porn star she said
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
