I think I am morally bankrupt
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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