That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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