Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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