Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
