I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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