I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
