I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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