do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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