all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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