i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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