that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
