the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
