i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize