It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.