distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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