Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
