Say something about gay babies.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize