Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woke up backwards on a recliner
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
