soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
