I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
