then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
