Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.