dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
