Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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