Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
