I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
