My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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