Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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