I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
