That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
