If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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