my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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