i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
