he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize