I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
