Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd

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(224): View more from Illinois

finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(514): View more from Quebec

maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge

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(517): View more from Michigan

I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level

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