Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize