i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD