Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Holy shit dude........stairs
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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