Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
