cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
