We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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