I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
