I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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