Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
