He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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